Dashiell approached a door with a frosted glass window, the words “Restricted Access” emblazoned in large letters. As if this wasn’t enough, the two armed guards on either side, members of the Library of Congress Police Force, ensured that no one entered without a proper pass.
Dashiell reached into his jacket and pulled out a slim black wallet. He flipped it open. Inside was a badge that identified him as a former government employee with clearance to enter this portion of the Library. The guard on the right looked over the ID, nodded and then turned to the door. He pressed a code into the keypad next to it, while the guard on the left pressed his thumb into a sensor on his side.
With an audible click, the door opened, and Dashiell stepped through. It closed behind him and he heard the locks engaging. He nodded to the two guards on this side of the door, before looking at what lay before him.
He was standing in a well-lit hallway, florescent bulbs in the ceiling reflecting off the hospital white tile floor. This portion of the Library looked different than the public sections. The hallway was wide. Three people could easily walk abreast down it, without brushing shoulders. Running down either side of the hallway were large oaken doors. Each door was made of a dark, solid oak, and each had a keypad over the handle.
The doors had no nameplates. Instead, the only indication of what lay inside were the official seals that marked the doors in gold paint. The first few doors carried the familiar symbols of the cabinet departments. A cursory examination would show that, starting with the first door on the right, and then alternating across the hall, the cabinet offices were in order of creation, from the oldest, State, to the newest, Homeland Security.
He walked a good way down the hall before he came to the door he was looking for. It was on the left. He briefly reflected on the fact that the secret archives of his former employer was on the sinister side of the hall, and knew that the former Director would have had something to say about it.
He looked at the seal. He hadn’t thought about it in nearly seven years. It would have been both familiar and disturbingly unrecognizable to the average citizen. It looked much like the Seal of the Department of Justice. But where the eagle on the DOJ seal was sitting atop a shield, this eagle was sitting atop a pentagram.
This was the seal of his former employer, the Bureau of Occult Investigations.
Dashiell punched in a seven digit code, then turned the handle.
4 comments:
I know you guys don't pull any punches, and believe me, I appreciate it. So be honest....is this too much description without plot advancement this chapter? Or is it okay to take the time to paint this picture?
There is nothing wrong with any chapter, individually. They are generally well written. But when you look at the overall story-arc, not much has happened in a while. He found threads on the dead body, I think. When you work out a ratio of action to detail, it's a tricky balance for any writer.
Only you know what kind of pace you want. The weird thing that I'm finding with web-fiction, is the "instant gratification" factor. If a chapter is short, a lot of action needs to take place. Nothing but detail leaves me unsatisfied until the next day's post, which better have action or I feel slowed down. More detail is great in a longer post, which has lots of action.
Look at Tales of MU -- AE rarely describes scenery very much, and then usually just what's necessary to plot. Tolkien's novels paint the entire scene, but you know you can just keep turning pages to find the next action. Online posts, you can't do that -- you have to wait until the next day.
So, for awhile now, I've been craving some action for Dash. But that's just me. I don't even know if the pace of NMAI works for people, because I didn't write it for the web. It's a novel, and I just post a mini-chapter every day. I think my next project I'd really like to design a proper web-fic, that takes into account the immediacy of the medium.
Excellent thoughts Gavin. I guess part of it is, I'm writing like a pen and paper writer, not a web writer. And I suppose it's worse when there are up to five days between my updates.
I know there's some high action stuff coming up soon. And unlike ToMU, this has a definite end, and it will be arriving in the fairly near future.
I have plans for future adventures, and I'm working on a larger piece in a different genre as well.
But when I do the next Dashiell piece, I will definitely keep the pacing more fully in mind.
Also, I have this awesome picture in my head of buying a windbreaker with a big yellow "BOI" on the back, and the described seal on the breast. Man, I want one! :)
If you're interested, there's a picture of the seal here.
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